AAPT: Let Go Of… Guilt?
As I said in my previous post, I am going to be examining the advice offered in this blog post. Lets start at the beginning, then, with guilt.
guilt
noun1.the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, especially against moral or penal law; culpability: He admitted his guilt.2.a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.3.conduct involving the commission of such crimes, wrongs, etc.: to live a life of guilt.
So, what is the advice this positive thinker gives you?
Does guilt ever change the situation? Can it reverse time and change the past? The answer is NO! Guilt has no use what-so-ever. Let it go and get on with living. Take whatever it is that is making you feel guilty and use it as a lesson learned.
The main point of this little noodle of advice is “guilt has no use what-so-ever.” You should not feel guilty about anything you have done; all guilt is doing is holding you back from “get[ting] on with [life].”
Basically, this advice is a “free pass” to ignoring anything that might make you feel bad about something you have done or said. Cheat on your husband/wife? Don’t you dare feel bad about that, just keep living life. Say something cruel to a friend/sibling/complete stranger? It really doesn’t have anything to do with you how you made them feel, so banish that uneasy feeling and go do something that makes you happy.
Any person that stops and thinks about this advice before blindly latching onto it will realize the faults inherent in it, without even consulting a Bible.
What this Positive Thinker (PT) fails to acknowledge is that if a person is feeling guilty, it is usually because that person has done something wrong. And while guilt – the actual feeling of having done or said something wrong (def. 2 above) – doesn’t itself change the situation, it does lead the person who feels guilt to change the situation, whether that is by confessing a crime, apologizing for an offense or a mistake, breaking off an affair that is ruining a marriage, etc. That is pretty useful, if you ask me.
Now, lets go a bit deeper.
Why do we feel guilt? Because we have done something wrong – morally, ethically, or criminally. Even more specifically, we feel guilt because we have sinned. We have broken God’s holy law and turned our backs on our Creator. There is no one exempt from this, either, as Romans 3:10 tells us, “None is righteous, no not one.”
What, then, is the purpose of guilt? Does it just exist to drive us to despair for failing God? No, actually. It exists to drive us to turn to God.
David was a man who knew the love and mercy of God intimately. When he sinned against God he did not pretend that he hadn’t done anything wrong; he didn’t dismiss his guilt as merely something that was keeping him from being happy. He saw his guilt as an indication that he had sinned and that he was no longer living a life pleasing to God. A very well-known psalm that illustrates this is Psalm 51:
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
5Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.7Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
15O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
build up the walls of Jerusalem;
19then will you delight in right sacrifices,
in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.(emphasis mine)
David realized that the only way for him to stop feeling guilty was to admit his sin to God – but it is very important to note here that he did not admit his sin just so that he could get rid of that pesky, unpleasant feeling. He admitted his sin so that he would once again be in a right relationship with God.
God does not ignore our guilt (def. 1 above), and He will not allow us to continue living in guilt (def. 3). It was because of their sin that God punished Israel when they turned from Him.
It was because of our sin – our guilt – that Jesus had to die.
For Christians, feeling guilt can in some ways be a source of comfort. That may sound strange, but hear me out.
Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in the heart of every believer. He has many functions, one of which is conviction of sin. That’s right – He’s the one that makes us feel guilty.
As Christians, we know that we will still sin, but we pray that we will be given the strength and help to resist temptation, and to avoid areas that we know will be a temptation to us. However, we do sin. And when we sin, it can be easy to think that because of that sin God will forsake us and not love us anymore.
But then the Holy Spirit convicts and reproves, and as we repent and turn back to God, we are comforted because God reproves those He loves:
My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.
So guilt is not just some useless emotion that can and should be ignored or banished or trivialized. It is not something you should get rid of – or, as the PT would say, “Let go of” – just because it makes you feel bad and might make you do something that will cause further discomfort like apologizing, or putting somebody else’s feelings before your own.
Guilt should cause us to repent of the wrong that we have done; it turns us toward God; it convinces us of His love.
One day there will be no more guilt, but until that time do not dismiss it as something useless.
